Archive for the ‘My thoughts’ Category

One of the most powerful things in the world is POSITIVITY..be it thinking or talking or doing…Almost all of us know this but we still lose hope many a times because of initial hurdles, the fear of negativity and not believing in ourselves…

In scenarios where we don’t get overwhelmed by negativity at all…and just be POSITIVE…things work…and we give the credit to our GOOD LUCK!! But it is ALL positivity in your mind that helped you succeed…”

Below is something that Abdul Kalam wrote:

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn’t realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy’s mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad’s voice over the wind yell, “Bart, Hold on tightly.” So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy’s mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, “Tammy, don’t fall!” And Tammy did… fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can’t visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn’t get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, “Don’t drop it!” Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper “self-talk.” They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn’t. I’ll never make it pro, but I’m now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, “Okay, try to drop the pencil.” Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, “You weren’t paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again.” Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will “give it a try,” you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a “no try” rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won’t. Either they will be at the party or they won’t. I’m brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don’t know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words “I’ll try” come out of my mouth unless I’m teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you “try” and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can’t make a decision I will tell the truth. “Sorry John. I’m not sure if I will be at your party or not. I’ve got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite.”

People respect honesty. So remove the word “try” from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, ” I’m fat. Nobody will like me. I’ll try this diet. I’m not good enough. I’m so stupid. I’m broke, etc. etc.”

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

Notice when you or other people use them.

Ø But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Ø Try: Presupposes failure.
Ø If: Presupposes that you may not.
Ø Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
Ø Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen.
Ø Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Ø Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Ø Can’t/Don’t: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Toxic phrase: “Don’t drop the ball!”
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: “Catch the ball!”

Toxic phrase: “You shouldn’t watch so much television.”
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: “I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!”

Dream is not what you see in sleep…is the thing which does not let you SLEEP!!!”


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College days…

Listening to the songs of the movie “Happy Days”, I’m reliving my college life again.. I did not get a chance to see this movie yet..but the songs seem to reflect the mood of the movie…as told by people who saw it…

I remember how carefree we were during all those 4 years…to be precise 3.5 years..Travelling in all those crowded buses having conversations with friends, Bunking the classes and going to movies, spending long hours in canteen even with very less money, surfing on the net in college lab even after lunch hours, going to the class in the last minute just to get attendance, eating and reading all junk in the front bench (the lecturers never notice front benchers..they think the back benchers are only noise makers), all those freshers/farewell disco parties, struggling with all those sample projects and of course studying all night for final exams…(One day batting as we used to term it), praying God that most of the questions should come from the unit I studied….The list will seem endless if all the activities we did are listed here…

I miss all those days and all my friends with whom I spent all those lovely days..There are some instances which I clearly remember and some I don’t..The day I saw Dil Chahta hein and I was so excited the whole week…the day my roomie got scolded by the conductor in Hindi and she smiled(of course, she doesn’t know Hindi…the day I topped in my favorite subject, the day I just cleared the subject I thought I would fail et al…it all seems that all of this happened just yesterday..but days are passing by and I dont feel that its been years since all this happened…

Those are the precious days of my life..And I will cherish them all through out my life…

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Indulgence in conversations

How often do you have a conversation with your loved ones?? Once a day, once a week, or once a month…We are so busy accumulating money these days that we dont spend quality time with the people we love and care the most.

Technology has made communication possible from every nook and corner of the world to any other part of the world. But still it did not increase the frequency of conversations among people. Infact, the number of conversations has reduced.

I prefer having a conversation with my friends and family very regularly. But, do I have them? The answer is a big “NO”. I often ask “WHY?”. Is it because of my lifestyle, my work or something else? I’m not sure about the answer. But it might be a combination of many things.

I feel very elated and even on top of the world whenever I indulge in a conversation with people very dear to me. At that moment, I even promise to myself to have such conversations regularly..But the feeling becomes momentary. I get busy with other things that I forget the promise I made to myself.

Express what you feel to the people you like at the time you want to because you never know when life will leave you….

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